Stress is huge for me this time of year. Shopping, family gatherings, dealing with family in general, along with many other things. When I have been stressed in the past I would turn to my addictive and self-destructive behaviors to deal with, or numb out so I didn't have to "feel" for a bit. These were my 'old' ways to cope and I know that they can still pop up so I have to be alert. Last year during this time I struggled a lot to stay sober, I had used porn & masturbation in early Nov 2013 but was able to avoid those through the rest of the season. I did use other self-destructive behaviors because I didn't want to reset my sobriety date. This is not real recovery/healing, it's just swapping.
This year I have had some stresses and I have been able to handle them....sober. This is a really good feeling. So far I have not felt the need to act out sexually to handle any of the stresses that come my way. I work to stay in the present and only deal with what is right in front of me. I do have to think about shopping and family get together's but I can do the shopping with my husband and in short bits. I know when the family gatherings are so I just have them on the calendar and so far have used the skills I have learned to get through them. I usually plan the day before or a couple days before so that I have everything I need to get through family gatherings in a healthy, skillful way. I can then come home and not feel like acting out to cope.Self-care has been very important to help me use my skills. Staying in contact with my recovery family helps and having a constant contact with God. I know the season is not over and anything can happen but so far I feel pretty good about how I have been handling the stresses as they come up.
It really does work and I am really starting to like the 'new' me. Hoping and praying that this will be my new normal for the years to come.
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