The Start of this Healing Journey

I would like to say this started years ago and maybe to some degree it did but for me the "real" journey started in July 2013. 

After spiraling in May and June of 2013 my therapist suggested a treatment place for female sex addicts.  I had been told years ago that I was a sex addict but didn't really want to believe it or just in denial.

I talked it over with my husband and we decided this would be a good idea.  So early July 2013 I left for an intensive workshop for female sex addicts.  For me this is when my true recovery and healing began.

It was a short 4 days but I was cut off from everyone except the other ladies in the workshop.  In those 4 days I learned why my addiction started and that there was hope.  I learned that there are safe people in this world.  I learned that healing comes with honesty.  I learned that I was NOT alone in this.  For the first time in my life I was with complete strangers telling them about the ugly side of me and they accepted me and did not judge me.

That was 16 months ago and as difficult as this journey has been so far it has been the best thing I have done.  I am learning to love myself.  To set good healthy boundaries.  To take care of me, which is something I never learned.

I should add that this is a spiritual journey and being a believer that has helped a lot.  I have had a distorted view of God and am learning the truth.  I am thankful that I have a God that loves me and that has been with me this entire time.  I see His hand in my journey all the time.

I am also thankful for my very loving husband.  He has been through a lot having to hear and learn of things that have hurt him terribly.  I am thankful he has stayed with me.  Looking back I now know that it was after my first disclosure (yes there have been more than one) to him is when I really felt what true unconditional love was/is.  I didn't know it then but I know it now.

For the sake of privacy and protection of my family and friends I am not using my real name or the names of anyone else.  If any name is used it will not be the persons real name.  I have chosen Hope because for the first time in July 2013 I felt real hope for my future. 

If you have stuck with me this far, thank you.  I do hope you return as I will go back and share from the start.  This will help me to remember where I was and how far I have come and hopefully will help others to see that there is hope for all who suffer.

Until next time......