I have worked all 12 steps and (personally) feel that everyone could benefit from going through them at least once even if they don't have an addiction. I also don't feel (and this might upset some) that they are the answer for everyone nor do I feel like that is why I am in the place I am now. I do feel that they have helped and I will continue to work on them as needed but a lot of them, in my opinion are really common sense and as someone with faith in God they are also the work a Christian should be doing anyway. I am not trying to undermine the 12 step program and I know for many that has been their life saver. I am saying that, for me recovery has been a LOT more than working the steps.All that said I want to talk about my 12 step journey. It started when I went to Bethesda workshop and that is where I was introduced to the 12 steps. There we pretty much did steps 1-3 and in my opinion a little work on step 4 as I used stuff I did at the workshop to do my step 4.
Once I was home I needed to get to meetings, get a sponsor and start working the steps. That was my thought and I was determined to do that. As I have said before this was not an easy undertaking for me due to being the only female (most of the time) in meetings for a while. I had made calls to women all over the country but that is in an earlier post.
Finally one of the guys wanted to help me at least get my step 1 done so he helped me after a meeting to get me started. Doing a step 1 in SA is a lot different than in AA. In fact all the steps are worked differently in SA and in more detail than in AA. I have never done steps in AA so that was to my benefit.
He gave me, I think 3 weeks to get my 1st step written (this was a summary of my story, the story that brought me to SA and recovery, powerlessness & unmanageable) and it was to be no more than 3 pages and I was going to read it to the group. YIKES!!! Talk about being transparent.
SA step 1. We admitted that we were powerless over lust--that our lives had become unmanageable.I wrote it out, asked a gal in another state to read it before I read it to the men in my meeting. She was less than helpful and I felt betrayed to say the least. She agreed to help then after reading it told me every reason she did not believe in sharing 1st steps in meetings and that it was triggering to her yet she did not tell me what was triggering to her. She did apologize a few weeks later but I have never talked to her again.
So after getting permission to read it I did and it was freeing. After I read my 1st step I then got feedback from the group which was nice. I have heard many 1st steps and to be honest I like hearing them and to me it helps to be that transparent and honest and it helps others to know they are not alone. I don't think it should be pushed on anyone nor do I feel like everyone should do this, it really has to be your choice. I really didn't feel like I had a choice then as I was so new and learning so for me I was still in the "doing what I was told" & "doing what I am suppose to do" stage. That's okay. I don't regret doing it.SA step 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
SA step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Those steps were easier. I already had/have a strong faith in God so turning my life over to Him...well I have done that. I like the short first 3 steps in a Christian way:
Step 1 I can't
Step 2 He can
Step 3 I'll let Him
Very simple but the 12 step program is a simple program just not easy.
So that is all for now I will later talk about my journey through the rest of the steps as that took more time and energy and some very difficult things to get through. Until next time......
