Fairy Tales, Romance & Real Life

A great deal of my life I have lived in a fantasy world....in my head that is. From a very early age I dreamed of the "perfect" man, life, kids, house, etc.... I think that is every little girls dream. I also fantasized about SO many other things but that is not what I am going to talk about today.

I have read many romance novels and I love romantic movies. This may not seem like a bad thing but for me I know that if I am not careful these things DO create a problem. No one can live up to the fairy tale happiness in these books and movies. Love and sex do not play out that way in real life.

Recently I have had some major changes to adjust to and some traumatic events to deal with. Stress to put it mildly. When I get stressed my anxiety goes up and then I want to retreat into something that is unreal, escape into fantasy. Not always a sexual fantasy but just anything that takes me out of real life. Lately, my husband has been very busy and we have not had as much time together as I would like. So I started reading a romance novel (not an erotic novel...can't do those anymore). Within a few pages I start to feel it....that feeling that something is not right. Not so long ago I would have gotten angry and not know what the problem was BUT now I know. 

DISCONTENTMENT!!

I become discontent with my marriage! WHY? Because I want the romance, the fun, the crazy love that is in the book. What I have is a very busy husband working to provide for his family. A man that loves me for me and has accepted me for who I am. Someone that likes to take care of me, do special things for me, sacrifice sleep to listen to yet another one of my boring rambling stories (well sometimes he will fall asleep to them but I don't blame him for that). Someone that loves me unconditionally. He is not perfect....AND neither am I. We have been married a long time and have been through a lot together and we are still together, working to grow our marriage even after many events that would tear a marriage apart. 

Once we started dating I thought it was crazy that he wanted to spend time with me and not to just have sex (although that was a part of our dating). We had a rocky start but once we decided to get married I thought I had found my knight in shining armor. The young man that was coming to rescue this young girl who already had one kid and now with 2. That fantasy was shattered really quickly and then I went back into my head.

I used fantasy to escape during most of my marriage. I would fantasize about the "perfect" man coming to rescue me from my now not so perfect husband. Once I actually went outside my marriage I realized that real life still did not measure up to my fantasies. Then reality really hit (the disclosure of those events).

I don't believe in fairy tales. I believe in real love. I believe that I have to work on me to be a better wife and not try to change my husband. I do believe in romance but not what is in the books, TV or movies but what my husband really does for me...the little things and sometimes really big ones. Real life is not always fun but once I stepped out of the fairy tales and fantasy of what I thought life and marriage should be and stepped into what is real and true I have found that inner peace and love of self that I cannot even express how amazing that is. I now look at my husband and love him no matter what. He is my prince. He is the one I want to grow old with. He has been an amazing father to our kids. He is loving and kind. He is compassionate. He works hard to provide so I can stay home. 

Our love story may not read like a fairy tale or romance novel but I would rather be living in real life with the man I do have than pursuing a fantasy that can never be.

REAL LIFE.....A MUCH BETTER PLACE TO LIVE!!

<-------That would be my husband!! 
I am very thankful that God brought us together & I have a man like that!!