Learning to use my voice

One thing that I am learning is to speak up for myself.  To have a voice which is something new for me.  I grew up not being heard.  What I had to say didn't matter, I didn't matter. Now in my 40's I have to learn to speak up, use my voice, say no.  These are all very difficult for me as I still have the fear of what others think or how they feel.  Will they hate me if I say no?  Will I be bullied if I stand up for myself?  Will anyone still like me or care about me if I speak up for myself?

This is all new and I am learning.  I had to do that today.  I had to tell someone that I was unable to continue working for them.  This person is a friend and I really tried and it had less to do with them and more to do with the fact that I still am working on learning how to have good self-care.

Thankfully I had a lot of support from others and this person appeared to take it well.  My problem is I walked away concerned that I hurt their feelings or what others might think in the office.  These are things I have to surrender and let go of.

Now on to some rest and good self-care.

**On a side note you will notice that I will be going back and forth from early in my healing journey and what is going on now.  I wish I had started this in the beginning but I guess I was not ready.